Another job offer tempting me.
I explore the feeling of this new option.
I call, to find that I would have to “Go right now!”
I realize: that’s ALL (ways what) it would be – PRONTO!
Then come all the other considerations necessary to live …in civilization. Ew!

My heart yells out, “Casey! Don’t do it! NEVER SURRENDER!
Remain a wild child, after all that is your allure. Continue daring to be free!”
I’ll stay… gone.
Having consciously chosen this path, once again,
I enjoy the freedom before me,
Playing in the present moment with increased vigor.
In every new moment each of us choose what we are.
I’m scared sometimes because this way is so transitory, but aren’t they all?
Headspace: I am safe. I am blessed!
The world is taking care of me and lets me know by offering opportunity.
I’m taking this ride to the end of the line!

“Fear is a symptom of loss of our authority;
When we give away our authority, we should be afraid!” -Caroline Casey

I am glad I came all this way,
Up here, on a mountain, away from the
Momentum of people…

When the night
Feels my song
I’ll be home

I’m headed to the pond.
I’m going to take all my clothes off. And jump in!
I am in such a natural state,
Sitting in the garden all day.
I’ve got two more hours to give there tonight.
Sifting through foliage, what don’t I love about this?
I am fed.

Follow the throbbing heart,
Practice ritual in art,
Grounded in the natural (nature of ALL).
With a monk’s virtue,
Balanced on the path,
I shine like the Christ child!

Barefoot in the fig tree, pruning. Work trade. I’m living on loving-kindness! There is something we can barter more universal than cash; I am an independent contractor for cultivating compassion. I offer myself, a person, Peace Pilgrim, open & willing, energetic & present, seeking to serve for the good of all our relations.

“‘You have given me money, which is of no use to me.’ Jupiter is the god of wealth in the sense of limitless opportunities, which has little to do with money. Money is a by-product of true wealth, but not its source. True wealth lies in telling the right story at the right time. We honor Jupiter, and he incarnates through us, when we, in the words of Isaiah, “speak to the weary a word that will rouse them.”

Jupiter says to each of us, ‘I will make you wealthy, by your own definition. What is your definition of wealth?’ What is a wealthy life, what is a wealthy culture? Simply asking the questions initiates a journey of discovering their answers.

Jupiter says that if you write down the answer to these questions, wealth will be yours. But don’t forget to tell the story of how you got it…”


So a new transition has been made and there is so much to catch up on! I chose to leave Orleans farm and follow my heart, which initially went with Russ down the mountain to Eureka – specifically Old Town’s Coffee & Chocolate, with a side of Wi-Fi. We spent a week cooking, eating, sleeping and a few other special events sprinkled in (Octet gold metal swimmers are so dreamy!).

I had a chance to interview for a job in Arcata. I chose to continue WWOOFing instead. It took some encouragement. Since becoming ill out in the boonies, I was weary of doing it all over again. But in the end, I had to admit: a job in town was not in my heart.

So! On the weekend I go couch surfing and find one with Wi-Fi installed! It helps me nail down a gig in Mendocino County, outside a town called Willits (where we Chillits with the Illwitz!). With a proper destination, I give myself full permission to relax! Russ and I make preparations to get Lost (on the) Coast! We are going to backpack for three days!

On Wednesday morning we walk out onto black sand beaches. Fog envelops us. It rolls in and out of each point obscuring and then revealing pieces of shoreline as we hike along. In some areas the seaside is steep and stony; others are smooth sand. Occasionally large rocks emerge, flame-like, from the surf. Kelp beds are scattered throughout. Seaweed swirls as the ocean currents pull it, rhythmically swaying to the cyclical movement of life. I give considerable time to discerning the difference between kelp and sea creatures. Like the waves, I flip-flop over and again, “It’s a seal! …No, kelp… Hold on…” Mostly I’m just fooling myself. What a game! What fun!

As we stride along, an actual seal emerges in the surf. Its gray speckled head appears right along side us, on a breaking wave as it swells! The seal hovers there, greeting us with big, black, perfectly round eyes! As the wave crashes upon itself, the seal drops down the backside and dissappears. He is gone as quickly as he came. Hypnotized by the encounter, I stand watching the surf for several minutes, but there is nothing. How fabulously mystical – ARF!

As we meander closer to the water, the surf chases us up the beach. On one occasion – only once! – the sea floods my shoes. We learn to move quick, sideways, like a crab! By the return trip I am learning to look at the tide line ahead.

After hours of walking on this coastal terrain, I ponder which size stone is best suited to hefting all the weight of my pack. I conclude that fist-sized rocks are easiest on the ankles and provide the best sense of actual ground (Earth sign.) Hard packed sand comes in at a close second, but only if it is really chock-a-block! Russ prefers hopping across giant rocks (Air sign!)

We arrive on Miller Flat about two hours before dusk and begin following a maze of animal trails through its golden grasses. The hard packed earth is a welcome relief from beach walking and the expanse is stunning! There are many opportunities to camp, some more established than others. We choose the one with a hammock! Dropping our packs here, we continue north to the creek for water. As we approach, I spy a black dot upstream that quickly skirts off into the brush (bear). At the water’s edge, there is a small snake anchoring himself in the rocks. A heron is fishing in a deep pool further inland. That will be our spot to filter water. We all must come.

On the way back to camp, we collect firewood. Just outside the site, a man emerges over the rocky ledge leading from the beach. I say hello. He nods and walks on. He isn’t wearing any gear: must’ve made camp around here somewhere. It is too moist to burn wood, so we lie in the hammock until we are foggy and soggy enough to turn in to the tent.

In the middle of the night, I hear Russ blowing his nose really obnoxiously, over and over again. Finally I turn over, only to find him asleep – then I hear the gnarly goblin beyond. Rabid raccoon? Bear? No. Whatever it is moves quickly towards us, around our heads and right past the door. As I sit there, upright, with only a thin veil of fabric between us, my imagination works overtime trying to conjure up an image of what has come a knocking. Russ hardly rolls over! I’m fully awake wondering what in God’s name is making that wretched noise! If it weren’t for the rain fly, I would have full visibility! But, the noise has past and we seem to have survived (for the moment), so I lie back down.

We wake and savor the morning (I’m alive! I survived!). I speculate that last night’s sound came from that man we passed at dusk! He must have been a shape shifter! An angry badger? Choking on plastic? Opossum? I think it is Russ who finally mentions that it might have been a wild pig. “They have those here?” I ask. What a Boar! I generally ignore this suggestion, preferring the magical mystery of all the other imaginary characters that could have come cavorting!

This day, Thursday, is our time to relax. We sit on the beach just south of where the creek meets the sea and watch events unfolding. Waves roll down the beach. It is a clear day, and windy too. There is another snake in the rocks between soil and sand. Three boats hang out north of us. We wonder why, until we spy the surf, and in it: SURF-ers. Out of the blue (sky) a plane lands on the North flat! Who could this be? But of course, it’s a Surfer Pilot! Bra flew in to get LOST for the day! A silhouette of dude and board disembark toward the beach.

I am mesmerized by the seas rhythmic cycles. Waves break in a domino effect down the shoreline and explode onto the rocks! It creates a stunning crash and as the water falls back, stones tear down into the sea. They sound like thunder rumbling from deep inside the earth, yet the sensation you feel is out of this world! The returning wave bows beneath the next wall of water, thrashing together and around one another like the thrilling sign of sixty-nine.

For food our main course is gorpe with a side of gorpe (the variety pack). But dinner is special: almond/soy nut butter with celery and curr-ANTS! As night falls, our fire starts under Mother Tree. Several sticks break near the southern perimeter of our clearing. Soon, a coy little raccoon emerges from the brush to introduce himself! He walks the edge of camp and jumps up into a low hanging tree on the north border. He is trying to be sneaky about visiting our tent. We send him off a couple times before heading to the beach for a view of the night sky.

The beach is so lovely tonight, that Russ and I decide to stay and beach-bag it in the open air! As is customary, a heavy fog rolls in during the predawn hours, surrounding us and lingering on until morning. Ambient light grows slowly in the misty morning. We wake quietly, and a bit groggy. There is sand in my hair. As I begin to stir, stretching my arms and rolling over – WHOA! Elephant seals are all around (Bigger than a breadbox and they bite!) The monstrous sea beasts dominate the landscape! Now I’m wishing for the ignorant bliss of being inside my tent! The consolation prize is that humans are faster on land. We move out promptly!

It is just as well this morning, because we must make our mark three miles downshore in time to beat high tide. Otherwise, we’ll be swimming home! There are several parts of the coast that become impassable when the water rises. Russ and I pack our gear, filter water & start back down the shore. It is familiar territory and yet things have changed. For one, the sky is clear! I am also surprised to find MONSTER Bear tracks (yes, that is a rare species only found on the Lost Coast)! They are as wide as both my fists combined! I meander up the beach with these tracks, watching as they disappear into the surf on occasion. Bubba bear dropped down from the forest early this morning for a real coastal breeze and nice walk on the beach! He must have come via a creek, because the whole coastline is cliff! Imagine that: a beach bear!

We stop for some breakfast (gorpe and gorpe!) and find that we are way ahead of time to beat the tides. This allows for a savorier pace. Also, I decide to have a dip. When we come across a nice “beachy” spot, I strip down and jump in – to the ocean! What a sensation: cool and cleansing, wild and refreshing! It’s like waking up in your beach-bag surrounded by elephant seals!

Russ and I finish up the hike, hop in our fine automobile and head to town for a warm meal (Bacon and Brie on Croissant, and Russ had a fabulous Curry flavored salad dressing – like WHOA!). From there we go south, to who knows what a waits! High (wave) adventure!

CHAPTER 5: Planets Align

Shortly after sunset
Your presence is often the best present!

I am planning a backpack trip to the Lost Coast of CA and wanted to get some sky maps before setting off with Russell. I found this sync: \”
Wednesday, August 20: Venus and Mercury are closest (at appulse) today. They\’re 1° apart from each other after sunset Tuesday, today, and Thursday. That\’s about a pencil-width at arm\’s length. This is just the beginning of an amazing series of conjunctions involving four of the five classical planets that continues well into September: the four-planet dance. Mars, meanwhile, is gradually moving toward them from the upper left day by day, and Saturn is fast disappearing to their lower right.\” Venus and Mercury are going to be 1 degree apart! My companion for the journey is a Libra (ruled by Venus,) and I am the Virgo (ruled by Mercury) – so this idea that we are going to be 1 degree apart over the next three days is absolutely true, especially with the size of my tent! Ha!

CHAPTER 4: City Life & WiFi

Been a week off the farm, spending time in Eureka with Russ. Now I\’m in Arcata couch-hopping to find my next pathway. I\’m at a friend-of-a-friend\’s house, kickin\’ it on the couch with my laptop (internet! yum.) & a movie. Suddenly there is a rumble that moves the couch forward & back a couple of times as if someone were pushing from the wall behind me. I wonder, \’Is dude moving furniture over there?\’ WHAT IS UP? Maybe a car crashed into the house… nah – but maybe… My friend comes out and goes, \”Wasn\’t that cool? An earthquake!\” And his roommate opens the door from the porch and goes, \”I just watched the walls of the neighbor\’s house quiver!\” SO I JUST EXPERIENCED MY FIRST EARTHQUAKE – AND I DIDN\’T EVEN KNOW IT!

(B-ROCK: This one\’s for you!!)

Registered 4.5 (see comments)!
Like, whoa.


Saying the truth is a challenge, but the greater challenge is to say the truth in a clear, inclusive way… it requires training, experimentation, practice & sometimes plant allies. -Caroline Casey

We cannot control realities around us.

But do not merely stand upon a pedestal of truth.

Instead, reach out with compassion!

By being inquisitive, you can build a bridge!

We coexist!

When we communicate with love, we are woven as one.

Together now! We are magnified just from the attention we give each other!

Experiences resonate between us long after we have gone our way.

Ripples reach – hand in hand across us –

Arcing in a wave (ocean, sound) through this liquid world.

Reach out! We are universal.

Lord, grant me the serenity to accept what I cannot change, the courage to change what I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.


I am a gateway of god-light,
Channeling invisible energy into action.
I try to make an art of it.
My life, a celebration, beauty in form.
This is passion. This is creation.

The language my spirit speaks, to the four directions.
An entranceway altar: a token of bounty.
Sand dollars & stones, notes & incense,
Grapes, roses, lavender, a raven’s feather,
Tree nut seeds for time travel. Abundance abounds!

I was emerging from an ugly flu, well.
I had cleaned ill out of my tent, re-embracing life.
My bags were packed; I knew not what was on my doorstep.
Pages caked with frustration & agonized rambling lie
Crumpled and burnt in a hollowed stump.

Douse the ash.
Rinse, release & resurrect.

CHAPTER 3: Goodbye Farm

Dear Nan Nan,
It HAS been a long time, but not 6 months! I’ve only been gone since June 22nd and arrived on the farm July 16th. Anyhow, it was good hear my grandmother’s voice over the phone, especially because I am so very sick! I had to laugh that you did not understand my initial blog entries. I went back to read them myself, and they were abstract indeed! My prose tend to wards word association a lot, breaking into little phrases that I string along, in the dialect and grammatical language of Case E. I hope there is something universal to be deciphered in my speech. I wish luck for all who try to decipher meaning from my scatterbrain notations!

How EVER, I AM trying the letter as a new format for entries (as you see). This way, my writing is more focused and flows naturally, as if I were speaking to someone in particular. I am curious to see if & how my style changes as I write to different people. The cool thing about this new way of writing is that these letters are not only directed at the person they are addressed to; they seek the consideration of a wide audience. I chose to kick off with a letter to my Nan Nan because (How could I not?) Grandmother is a universal familial relation, so others can identify – we all have one. It represents an ancient archetype of the fertile earth mother, from which we all are borne. Universal truths echo in sound waves through all of space & time (the same) instant. Infinite. The same message (Truth. Love.) is delivered by many messengers. So please dive in and enjoy! This is an open journal to you, an invitation for connection. Come. Reflect with me on this mirror pond. Read my letters as if they were just for you!

I am so sorry I have neglected writing for so long! At times I get preoccupied with my little existence & endeavors, forgetting to keep in touch! I do hope you will enjoy the garlic & onions; they are excellent staples in the kitchen! I expected to hear from you soon since I was on the farm, but since moving on, I will just have to suffice with sending post cards!

So week two at the farm was characterized by bliss, as I easily followed the flow of perpetual pleasure. But of course, things change and the cycle continued on into the “compliment” of being blissed: extreme suffering. First, Russell (the person I really connected with) left the farm. When I went to bed the first night of his absence the nighttime sounds were blaring! I was ultra aware of every crunch in the leaves & had crickets ringing in my ears. They filled the silence of my companion-less night.

I HAD been looking forward to having time to catch up on my writing. But I failed to assert what I wanted and (turns out) needed. Instead, I took all these new opportunities exploring neighboring farms, eat at the Mining Company and driving up Orleans Mountain. I ended up sleeping on the roof of a truck, parked in a dirt road on a canyon slope with no socks! I spent Sunday hot and bothered with a wicked fever.

I noticed that my crew-mates liked to STIR IT UP. Recently, their passive aggressive tendencies were directed at me. There was certainly a take-care-of-yourself approach to life on the farm, which did not emphasize empathy or communication. To dispel the resentment I felt, one morning I tried to clear the air. We were all settling into weeding asparagus and I spoke up, apologizing to everyone for my transgressions and for failing to communicate. At first, there was awkward (or surprised) silence. Then, the tension broke and was happy to receive a gentle ribbing from all around. It verified what I thought was going on and I was glad to dissipate some of the hard feelings.

Still, I fought an uphill battle when it came to one woman in particular. I became sensitive to her curt remarks and attempts to exclude me whenever possible. I told myself that she was begging for compassion, but had great difficulty rising above her distaste. Instead, I took it personal and escalated the negative energy with my own quips. All of these interactions were under the guise of friendly banter, which made me boil even more!

The real talk always took place behind a persons back; this much I knew from a couple weeks of work. When I got sick, it provided the perfect opportunity for the crew to speculate about me all day long, which may be why I felt increased resentment at this time. Shady Brady was my informant – confirming that this woman did not like me. I held onto this knowledge begrudgingly and it put me into a bad mood. I was glad he didn’t go into detail about what was being said, but still, had made myself sick and was going to learn the hard way.

I lie on the deck, sweating out my fever in agony and feeling nothing but resentment from everyone around me for (?) being so uselessly sick. I was avoided except the occasional, “How you feeling sick girl?” and oftentimes felt like a leper. When I ran into Von (owner & crew leader) and told him I was feeling sick, he responded by telling me to stay away from sick people and quickly disappeared!

I did nothing but think about escape routes all day. I missed Russ because he fed me (literally & emotionally). He had empathy. He genuinely cared. He would give the touch & attention & nourishment I desperately needed to heal. As things were, I felt very alone in the whole wide world. It was all up to me to climb out of the pit.

On the phone with you, it was funny to hear myself describe everyone in a nice neutral tone, as if all were well. I even brushed off my illness! I didn’t want to admit the reality of the situation. All these other energies and emotions swirl about between us. I rest in the knowing that the cycle must turn. All will be well at the appropriate time. Pray that I may be the seed of transformation that sparks a positive change within our microcosm in the woods. Envision this community blessed with a sense of wellness & abundance that is inclusive of each individual, so that we may work in joy and harmony with one another, truly grateful of the gifts that surround us daily.

All my love, blessed be,