\”The answer came to me. Wait as long as you need to. The waiting is as important as the doing. It\’s the time you spend training and the rest in between; its painting the subject and the space in between; its the written words, what is said, what is left unsaid, the space between the thoughts on the page, that makes the story, and its the space between the notes, the intervals between fast and slow, that makes the music. It\’s the love of being together, the spacing, the tension of being apart, that brings you back together. Just wait, he will return.

I\’ve got to do something, I told myself, but I didn\’t know what. Just waiting there and watching… wasn\’t accomplishing anything, but swimming around in circles wasn\’t accomplishing much either. Maybe if I think very hard [he] will hear me. Maybe [he] won\’t know my words, but will sense my brain waves. Maybe [he] will hear my feelings with [his] sonar. Maybe [he] will hear me calling [him] through the water… Please, come this way, over here! I shouted with my mind…

I thought as hard as I could. I didn\’t know if it would work. I didn\’t know if anyone could ever know. But I had to try something. You don\’t have to hear the words to know someone cares about you. You don\’t need to hear the words to know someone believes in you. You don\’t need to hear the words to know someone loves you. You feel it; you know it.

I projected my thoughts: be patient. Wait. Nothing is all good or all bad. As a problem develops, so does the solution. Rest here. I will tread water beside you. You will be okay. I know it. I feel it. It will all work out.\”

This is an excerpt from the book Grayson, by Lynne Cox that I just finished. I think her story is a beautiful metaphor for trusting what you feel and intuiting your way through. In Neptune\’s sea (that engulfs our consciousness) there are many ways of communicating and connecting. (Water is our spiritual conductor!) Her words are so simple, and yet so profound. She speaks of her experience helping a baby grey whale find its mother, but reveals the power of magic!

I got a sense for riding – a feeling – that I should maintain a grip firm, but flexible. And I learned to lean in or over or back, using my body weight to maneuver. Other times I felt light, like I weighed nothing at all! Sometimes I let go of concentrating on the trail and felt like I could fly right off the bike and into the air! We flowed with the trails on and onward until we got dizzy from flying around trees in the blue glow. How surreal! Great practice!

It has been years since this dream has recurred. But recently I re-experienced the exact, old, familiar sleep sensation. In fact, this happened several times, only now I am a young woman – no longer a child. I am working on a farm, sleeping on a twin bed in my tent in the afternoon. Since my labor is so physically exhausting, my practice has been two naps a day, and I sleep very well, if for only a short time. During one of these siestas, I again experience the uneasy sensations from my childhood. The dream is still very uncomfortable, but not nightmarish. As I float closer to waking, I become aware that what I am feeling is the actual bodily sensation of my muscles contracting. I feel my gripping fingers, hands and arms pressed together against my own body. My jaw is full of tension also. Asleep, I made myself into a big clenched knot! As a child, my parents sometimes heard me grinding my teeth in the night. Certainly this habit contributed to my dreamy discomfort. What a simple, logical explanation! Now the sensation is approachable, helping me to unlock the gripping fear of old patterns! By revealing the pattern, I release the need to repeat it. Cool!

I am still in the process of releasing this tension. Through practice I have noticed several things. When I unclench my fists and relax them it allows energy to flow through. This is especially essential when I am on the wintry trail riding a mountain bike. I need to maintain a relaxed grip so that I can hold on and control the bike, while also keeping my blood flow up. My circulation is improved; my hands become warm.

I have also noticed a benefit when I can relax my body in meditation. I sit, palms facing the sky, up and open (although their instinct is to close – this is necessary reconditioning after all those years) to what will come. Often in the last few months I notice a current of energy moving through my hands. It is especially strong when I am in circle, with others who help elevate healing vibrations. I know this is part of a new chapter of learning and I am open to what will come from my new awareness. I am amazed at the transformation that has come!!

From Many, One

Madagascar