my wings

leaf angel

christmas eve,

a gift from spirit

mom and i
at a friend\’s home
gift exchange and tea
we three stoppe
to meditate

for once
my mind is clear
contentment

i sit, smiling
stillness

she channels a message
from across the veil
i listen, present
but also drifting
let go

i watch energy
swirling
over my eyelids
in colors and glows
i am

before i know
the wave
– this sensation – lifts me
i am floating!
i, above my body
in the ocean, of infinity!

returned
reborn
in but also out
perfectly supported
i relish being

balancing between
i know that on opening,
my eyes will see me
come down
and i was

left – lightening
peace – penetrating
love.
lifted.
eternal.

Out of the Body

So! I have been paying more attention to dream messages. By bringing them to the surface, they begin to weave in and out of waking states, fluidly intertwined, emerging & sinking in the sea of consciousness. I take a more intentional grasp of my reality, on the path to lucid dreaming, where waking and sleep states are interchangeable – all one!


Sometimes I dream in the day. These tiny retreats allow the mind to rest and process. Dreams are fun because they tap into the mystical elements of life. Anything is possible in dream state, and often the most bizarre elements combine & stir it up (one’s imagination). But then again, wild things happen in waking state too!

My earliest memory disguised itself as a dream for many years because it seemed to unreal to have actually happened! First, I am in an ambulance bed. There are trees, green – all blurred in movement – outside the windows. Nan Nan is beside the bed, up and to the right. I can\’t see her, but I feel her presence. It is very simple. There is no pain; I am just aware. She is sending love and I am reassured by this feeling. That is my only sensation. The world rushes by, but really it is our caravan that moves so quickly.

Then there is another scene. The same one actually, but I am floating up in the corner of the ambulance looking down on myself in the bed. I can see Nan nan! This affirms that she really is there! Good! I can see outside the ambulance as it rushes down a road, surrounded by lush, green trees. Perhaps this is Dolfield, the road in the woods that is so familiar. This experience where I am outside my body makes me sure that this must be a dream. Besides, I\’ve never been sick in an ambulance…

One day I share the dream with dad. To my amazement, he tells me that this actually happened! My grandparents were babysitting. I was two years old with such a severe fever that my eyes rolled back into my head and I had a seizure. 911! Pop pop stayed with brother Michael, while Nan Nan rode with me to the hospital. This dreamy memory turns out to be my first out of body experience – like whoa!



My second out of body experience was magical. I was sitting with my mom and a close friend, Paula, who was channeling spirit; both of these women are blessed with gifts and an awareness that connects them to lofty spiritual planes. It was at a time in my life where I was very content, and so I was present in the stillness of NOW… (see next post)

Ouroboros PARTING

The question left unanswered: Why did Serpent Ouroboros pass up Templeton the Rat? I know all of you were rooting for the rat, but with the healthy new respect for snakes we are gaining, don\’t you think he deserves a HEARTY meal? Our TAIL continues…

I’m HANGING out in the hammock, when a movement catches my eye. There is a field mouse jumping along my wall, come in from the winter cold. With one quick swing of my arm the python is served a sweet snack! Only problem is, snack attack is bouncing all over the tank like a base-jumping maniac, while the serpent sits in utter disregard. The mouse dies of fright or starvation by the end of the day, ignored all the while.


But he is not the only one. Dad\’s most recent project is to eradicate the winter vermin attempting to hibernate in our kitchen. I arrive home to find four field mice bunking with Serpent Ouroboros. We sacrifice their lives for the benefit of another. Or at least that is our intention. I am optimistic despite the fact that Ouroboros has refused food for almost a month now. These guys are a nice little treat, and he’s bound to have an appetite worked up by now! So we wait…


This rowdy bunch not only survives – they begin to thrive! They have made their own private nest: moss stuffed beneath a log. I wake in the middle of the night to find that these acrobatic mice are flyin’ – not dyin’! Their nightly activities include collecting bits of fabric from the blanket that covers the tank. Up-side-down, they do laps by ceiling – MacGyver Mice! It feels like they are burrowing into my brains with their incessant scratching! When day finally breaks there is peace. But now, with Obie on the prowl & silence in the air, I wonder their fates. Ahhh! The silence makes me crazy! I can\’t win! What\’s going to happen next!?


I try not to think about it. When I spy a mouse, I drop in more pistachios.

To top it off, a CAT & MOUSE game has developed. My feline friends carefully monitor rodent activity & avidly paw on the tank’s glass wall. They are just another aspect of the circus that surrounds me daily. I am the ringleader for these little lions.

AT LAST! There is peace tonight. My patience has finally run up and pity set in, so the mice are released to continue their twitterpated ways in the forest. Dispersed into a new log far from here, they remain survivors, living on the god given instinct that sustains them.

In the cycling & recycling of
life – patterns of
aliveness in each segment –
this transition is full of
excitement, passes
the torch, in love.
ADOPTED: AN ENDING
Since my cross country farm escapades, Serpent Ouroboros had to be babysat by a friend. In anticipation of my cross cultural escapades, I search for a permanent adoptive home for my serpent friend. When he returned to me from the baby-ball-python-sitters in October, he was due for some dinner. But the Serpent, Ouroboros, wouldn\’t eat a thing! Lives were spared (as you have read). Templeton appreciated this new state of mind, as did four field mice. After all this, I gave up on feeding and just started trusting that he was fine.

I get a call – someone responding to the ad for adoption I posted at the Pet Pantry. J comes over to check out Ouroboros. He shows up proudly wearing his fire dept gear and I learn that he works alongside a longtime friend of mine from high school. He is also well acquainted with the owners of my part time job! This coincidence paired with J\’s knowledge reassures me that his is the home I have hoped for.

Upon inspecting Serpent Ouroboros, J tells me that he is a male and then extrapolates that most males of sexual maturity stop eating around November for breeding season. Ouroboros must have just come of age, since he ate straight through last year! Oh what a relief to know that Ouroboros is exhibiting perfectly normal behavior (although the fact that I have been through all these gyrations for my own peculiar entertainment is somewhat disturbing!). Wonderment! I am given answers and a resolution at last! The serpent, Ouroboros, is in a safe new home and there are no more mice scratching about my brain as I sleep! Woo-hoo! Cheers!

peace, love and many blessings to my good friend
the serpent, ouroboros

RATS!

FEEDING TIME
Let\’s review Ouroboros\’ dietary concerns during his time with me.
First, we start with fuzzies: tiny mice. He ate about two a week.

The fuzzies are pretty easy to handle. RATS are more substantial. When Ouroboros ate his first RAT, the killing was a sight to behold. Yet somehow, in preserving life, we consume it. In general, we lack experience and understanding of the dying process. That is probably because the topic of death is often silenced rather than discussed. The question I am left with: WHAT IS AN HONORABLE DEATH?
Now we jump to the last RAT that I sacrificed to Ouroboros. It possessed a character more distinct than any dinner I ever encountered! This RAT did not conduct himself like food! For starters, in the time it took to get home from the pet shop, the RAT was popping his head out of a hole he had nibbled in his box! All the others just sit and get scared shit-less (literally).

Ouroboros and the RAT didn’t exactly get a long, however, I would say that they “hit it off” quite nicely. The snake refused to devour the sacrificial rodent, but struck several times, causing the RAT great apprehension. This went on all night. And the next. And the next. At one point I woke to the RAT jumping up and down so fervently that it looked as if he were bouncing back and forth off the ceiling and floor! Ouroboros could have eaten him any time. Instead, there was some sort of stalemate that forced rodent and serpent to coexist.

Eventually I realized that Ouroboros simply would not eat. That’s how the RAT got in my lap. That’s also how the RAT got a name. It was the only thing I could do: LIVE with him! So I had to reach in the tank to rescue Templeton. It’s funny that I was more jumpy about picking up the RAT than handling a snake! Ouroboros had become familiar and friendly, while this finicky fuzzy thing with nails and a long bald tail was jumping up and down – slamming itself against the ceiling in reckless desperation! I understood his anxiety. When I finally reached down to let him up, the RAT and I made immediate friends.

Perched on my shoulder, Templeton was a cuddly neck warmer. He was friendly and the snicker of his whiskers, bubbly. The RAT is always doing something; he looks forever busy with little paws precision preening. Essentially, he is just a little ball of vibrational fluff. He doesn’t bite or scratch, just on with snicker whiskers.

First we went downstairs for cabbage, then for celery. Templeton nestled into the pocket of my sweatshirt, popping his head out of alternating ends while I worked. In time he settled down, poking his head out less and less while warming his nest up more and more, just humming along. Incoming carrot!

Friends came over. They met Templeton and their hearts melded. The next day I got a call. The RAT was given a proper name and home. He goes by Edward Templeton these days. He is a very special RAT.