Roots of Addiction

This article from Medical Medium is surprising but makes sense:

…there are two different deep roots behind addictions: adrenaline surge dependency and glucose deficiency. Other factors can certainly play a part too, including life stressors, immense pressure, and abuse. Nonetheless, adrenaline dependency and glucose deficiency – or a combination of the two – are nearly always involved. This is unknown to medical research and science. From these root issues stem countless possible addictions, including to alcohol, drugs, sex, food, diet soda, extreme sports, and more.

This fits with what I’m learning about prometabolic eating to regulate blood sugar and decrease the excitability of the nervous system. Your physiology affects your psychology, including addictive behaviors.

I have been living beyond my means! For years I have starved myself, drank coffee and powered through life. Now I am changing course and changing my state- from surviving to thriving!

In the morning, I check in with my body and see how it feels. Then I eat an efficient fuel that sounds good based on my hunger level (more or less dense foods.) Twenty minutes post meal, I check in with myself to see how I feel: still hungry, tired, energized, full?

This practice sets the trend for the day: awareness.

What you eat deeply affects the way you feel and how well you can function. Each person is unique in their needs, what satiates them and for how long.

The results so far are a stark contrast to what I’m used to. I feel more grounded, calm and safe in my body. I’m less anxious and stressed. It’s unbelievable to me that I can feel this good just by eating and actually noticing how my body responds and what it needs. I am creating a new rhythm for a return to vitality and resilience!

To learn more about the Restoration Thyroid Nutrition program I am using, visit Eastwesthealing.com or check out @realfoodgangstas on IG.

New Moon Circle

It’s the start of something great! For our new moon circle we set intentions for new projects that are getting underway. Going around the circle and sharing, I tear up over my health challenges because I feel backed up to the wall with seemingly no options left, but I found hope again.

The ladies want to quantum leverage that optimism and so, I visualize my best outcome and describe it to the circle. They listen and then one by one share with me their vision of my vibrant health.

You have a bigger smile than I’ve ever seen on you! You’re walking backwards on a trail in front of me and you’re laughing.. You are driving up to the mountains and launching a paddle board on a lake.. At the end of the day you cook a big dinner over a campfire.

I am so grateful for each of their visions of me. Now I take action on my plan!

Relax, my dear

We are at the Home and Garden show and need to get across the exhibit hall to the compost talk. Jason is buying rocks at a booth and showing the lady photos of his rocks. I let him know we need to go and then walk down the aisle to wait for him to finish. We are fifteen minutes late. As we walk together across the hall, he tells me to relax.

“I AM relaxed,” I assure him.

We enjoy the talk which is funny and informative (apparently I need a thermometer for my compost pile.)

Later, we are in a candy shop with novelty socks. I read aloud the pair that first catches my eye, “Bitch, I AM relaxed.” We look at each other and smile.

Then Jason buys me a pair of socks!

Family Fabric

Mom visited and helped me get so many projects done. She transplanted cactus and moved rocks, painted and held the ladder for Jason (aka ladder talk,) prepared food and cleaned the kitchen- what a dream! And now she’s finished the quilt.

It’s a log cabin style quilt top from Nan Nan, my grandmother. I bought material for the border and started pinning and quilting it all together with the help of our friend Aunt Bev.

I am a perfectionist and an overdoer. I keep quilting and quilting- more! More! As I begin another layer of stitches, the fabric starts to feel more stiff than I want. So I stop, but now the stitching is not symmetrical… I consider quilting more on the other edge or all the edges but it’s already too much so I hesitate to continue.

I lie the quilt across the couch and step back to look at it. As my eye wanders, I see the little yellow square in the center of every single larger square …except THAT one, yes, that one- right there smack dab in the middle of the quilt. That yellow square is not in the right place! It should be kitty corner to it’s current spot. Did they notice that it was off and place the incorrect square, square in the middle on purpose? Is this a sign for me to stop being a perfectionist? Will the quilt still keep me warm if the stitching isn’t symmetrical? Does this run in the family?

When I trim the quilt sandwich (front, batting and back) before the edging is added, a couple of corners are too short in the back. Instead of making the border thinner, I scrap together one of the last shreds of fabric on hand to extend the shorter corner. Lesson learned- I’m scrappy, not perfect!

Now mom has come to visit and we are getting the sewing machine running again. Lord keep that bobbin in the case! I print out the necchi manual and show her how to sew on the bias, like Bev showed me. Then we iron and sew the edging onto the front of the quilt.

Finally, mom pins and hand stitches the edging to the back of the quilt as we sit on the couch and talk. Axel comes over from next door and helps her put the pins back in the stuffed tomato.

Fairy Garden

So, when we accidentally opened a portal to another dimension, it brought fairies to our garden.

At first I hardly noticed except the birds were extra friendly. But then a rainbow quartz dragon portal opened right before our eyes and Bigfoot emerged. When he left there were magical creatures of all kinds galavanting around our patio. We’ve gotten used to the company.

Short Walk

You know it’s been a long week when your wash your face with toothpaste and don’t even realize it until you’re about to brush your teeth with the face wash. Just throw the house out the window. My face was minty fresh- I’ll tell you that!

Compostables

I am debating what kind of compost pile I want to build. Cold compost is chill (and can be wormy.) But I think hot compost offers more of a thrill. Let me break it down for you. Add browns (paper stuff) and greens (plant stuff) like any pile. If the ratio is just right and holds moisture, the compost will cook itself! How delectable. So I plant and water a fresh pile of browns and greens. I tuck it in under a couple pieces of cardboard. When I have scraps, I dig a hole and bury them. And my fingers are crossed..

Who knew it was such a science to brew fresh dirt! Maybe I’ll take it’s temperature later… For now I’m letting it break itself down for me!

Death and decay fuel new life, whether it’s from your fresh compost, a mushroom or what’s for dinner. Life and death compete and cooperate. Life and death breed both chaos and order across the food web. Life and death build upon each other. Life and death create growth that spurs us onward, naturally.

Years ago our cat preyed upon a bunny that I tried unsuccessfully to save. It’s one of those uncomfortable things that happen. I buried it in a tin with a big golden beet. My fascination with death has led to creating images. I captured this moment of the end. It’s confronting yet peaceful. We can no longer avoid the conversation. Death needs to be embraced so that it can be understood with reverence. Look at it. Be curious about it. Toss the taboo. Get familiar with this natural process. I call it Bunnykins.

My grandmother always recited the poem, The Spider and the Fly. The opening lines are, “come into my parler, said the spider to the fly.” In a flower garden there are many spiders and many more flies.

My preying mantis friend got eaten. I wonder how many flies the little guy caught while it stood still on it’s leaf all week. I visited every day, tried to be quiet and made an image of it. I know it’s natural, but I was still sad when it got consumed. The preying mantis got preyed upon itself. On and on up the web it goes.

The predator kills it’s prey. We eat; we process the meat. I take a photo. I honor the animal. I appreciate the beauty of it’s sacrifice as it is transmuted into new life. This is the first animal I helped butcher. The photo shows reverence as we kneel to skin the deer.

Finding strength and inspiration in the natural cycles of death and decay is the reason regenerative agriculture appeals to me. It can save our planet, which is dying from the way we abuse our natural resources and wild lands. Our plants and animals and soil suffers from the way we practice industrial agriculture. Regenerative farming can literally bring back life and carbon and water to the soil and in turn the animals, plants and us who all depend upon it. It can resuscitate our ailing earth!

And so we make compost.

We also grew a cover crop (aka lawn) this year here in Phoenix, Arizona. Yes, we do irrigate, but as the root system grows deeper and deeper with the help of beneficial bacteria and mycorrhizal fungi and microorganisms, it also holds more water and let me tell you, we need to sequester as much water as possible! We can also sequester carbon. This can positively affect climate change and our regional water cycle. We over-seed with clover and let the dandelions and purslane live to encourage biodiversity. Pollinators appreciate the variety. So does my cat.