I had a deep session today full of gentleness and joy! An important aspect of my progress is setting the intention. I am committed to see this through. And I trust myself that it will not be another trauma to heal the old one.
I realize that my type A perfectionist personality is really fighting my ability to fully relax and heal with ease.
I see improvement in waves. Some days I just lay on the table and think about a coffee shop the whole time. Some days I’m preoccupied with drama of the day in my head and sometimes I’m in my body, but just can’t get out of my own way.
Today there was a release at the top of my shoulders from this pushing up up up all the time. It let go in waves down my back, with a couple white tips trying to hold on as the release rolled down my spine.
By the end I was floating on the table– such ease in my body. Some choppy places tried to stand and object but they were kindly quieted and released.
At the end of the session I had the sensation that my left arm and leg were hanging off the side (they weren’t). It is the old memory? My left shoulder is joining me in the present moment!
I realize that I have a big cloud of fear and protection around my injury. No critic bigger than myself as I’ve worked to resolve this injury over the years. You can work hard at a lot of things, but not relaxing!!!
I am becoming aware of my unconsciousness in these parts of my body. They are waking up to now– with a sensation that I liken to a gong– it’s the shock of the trauma– this humming. When it passes, there is peace. There is a regenerated body and new nervous system. There is me, trusting myself and the safe space my healer and I have created. There are no surprises. I am doing the work. I am seeing the results. I am catching up with my future self and growing from experiences of the past.
Last week my healer asked me, “Do you by chance have another name?” I do. I walked into a store to pickup an order yesterday and was asked the same. I am opening to my innate power. Meeting myself by another name. Hello, nice to meet you.