Dear Nan nan,
How have you been? I know it has been forever since I last wrote, and a girl should not go on too long in life without writing to her grandmother – especially when they live on different coasts! I miss you so much. It is hard to believe how much time has passed. Remember when I first got to town and was working for the bagel shop? I ate there two meals a day, that is dos Los Bagels! For a long time after, I thought I would never enjoy a bagel again.
Well, it has been about three years since making the dough for Bagels, I am, once again, enjoying Bagels on an almost weekly basis! Feels good to finally come full circle (or bagel.) Jalapeño is still my favorite variety, but sometimes a slug hits the spot, too. My friends from Colorado reported that they had a rosemary Parmesan bagel– a noteworthy type dough!
I am also carrying Los Bagels cream cheese spreads at the grocery store where I work. Every flavor is whipped to perfection and offered in an eight ounce tub: plain, pesto, sunny tomato, wild herb and salmon. I can’t say I have a favorite; they are all good. The sun-dried tomato spread is set off nicely with garlic and the wild herb has a hit of horseradish for excitement. The joy is spreading!
Now I usually take a quick trip to the salad bar to round out my breakfast with a topping of spinach, sprouts and sometimes a cucumber or onion. And if I have my way, slug slime and LARRUPIN finish it off.
Fuel gets me thinking. I’ve been working on an old legend from around here and thought I would share it with you. So, without further adieu, I present to you:
The Myth of the Jalapeno Slug
(WARNING: bagel and bread puns ahead!)
The Jalapeno Slug is a mythical creature residing in the Bagel Factory. Bageleros are always chattering about how delicious it would be… If such a creation existed. Yesterday, to my surprise, someone told me that they ATE one! Imagine that: EATING a Jalapeno Slug!?! Seems like an awful close encounter with something that is only said to be real. (How do you know when a pepper is mad at you? He gets jalapeno business!) I just can’t believe it. Jalapeno Slugs don’t exist.
The Jala-Slug, drenched in mystery, remains supernatural. Like Bigfoot, believe at your own risk, when the only evidence is eyewitness. There’s just no PROOF that such a Jala-slug ever took SHAPE (This statement is humorous because of the double meaning. When a Shape Shifter or Bagelero working the Bagel Shaping Shift, said Shape Shifter loaves the dough into bagel form and places new born bagel babes on peels to PROOF. Proofing a bagel means that we encourage it to grow or rise through the action of the yeast. As long as the Jala-slug never PROOFS itself to shape shifters, it has no effective way of manifesting as a reality in the bagel factory. So, there’s just no PROOF of a Jala-slug taking SHAPE.)
Bakers cannot corroborate, leaving this story utterly incomplete. Not even the toaster is talking. If rumor has it, the Ja’la’la-slug may have truly slithered cross the oven threshold to achieve immortality in the world of man. But we can never really know, except in each man’s own heart (belly) and soul.
Just remember there is a boy- a boy who believes. He was raised atop a poppy seed muffin (one of our own at the bagel factory); you may say he was born and BREAD here. Anyway, the boy has been here for years and has dreamt of the Jalapeno Slug for as many years as he has been, here. “At last,” he now claims, “the dream is realized”. Is this boy just a muffin? Bageleros may never know. Whose to decide, if Ja’s tale should survive? Perhaps resurrection is not A’ PEELIN’ for today’s proof.
Of a Jala-slug rebirthing,
Our muffin son can only pray.
After that, time will say.
When someone calls out, “Challah!”
Always “Jala” back with lotsa ‘peno,
Cause every day is a Jala-day!
Hey, how do you know when a pepper is mad at you? He gets jalapeno business! Hope you enjoyed my little stories. I will write and catch up with you again soon!