CHAPTER 1: Farm Rap

The crew moves & acts (together):
One organism, distinct legs.
Leapfrogging about one another,
In a hive of activity,
Sometimes (chicken) chatter.
We scratch the ground with our bare hands.
We dig into it – working, massaging the soil.
We worship the ground.
On the farm
We are
On the farm
(Time slows down. Dirt is constant.)

I think up a lot of stuff 2 do while in the field.
I’ve become quiet (introverted: focused inward)
…almost somber.
But it helps me continue to clear, clarify & cleanse.
I AM> focusing my energy.
& yet releasing grip…
(go with the flow, you know?)
Simply be.

Yet the child – my child, mind child seeks distraction.
But I set that little girl down here in the dirt.
On the Farm
We are
On Farm Head Space
Here for our vegetables.
“Here. Now,” I tell her,
With an implied,
“You ain’t goin’ nowhere ’til you’re finished.”
At first difficulty the child screams (tantrum)!
But thyme grows on us (silence prevails; discomfort passes).
Somethings always new or changing.
Somethings always the same.
Cluck Cluck is learning to Cock-a-doodle – a garbled call
(The lotus unfolds) the kid is quiet.

Come evening,
My mind breaks along with the body,
Too exhausted & scattered to go pecking around @ misc. tasks.
I just surrender (to what is).
Sleeping (deep) because I work (so very hard) to serve.
The thoughts still bob in my brain (seeds of worry?)
Coming & going (more freely).
Release them; Do Not Water!
They clutter the nature of what is!
In stopping resistance, you embrace being.
So that abundance enfolds you in its loving arms!
On the path, you are.
Been a week – two – three –
Four since I came (Like Whoa, And How!?)
Slow go – or so go(-ne)?
I thought
When was it (timely)?
I (appropriate) am here.
My body continues
An evolution of blisters & scratches, itching & callousing,
Taking care – my vessel knows. I let it,
Because last night Venus held the sky (Milky Way her backdrop).
It was deep – sublime!
Each one, I thought – though I knew it not by a name –
held its place in the heavens (it belonged).
Something familiar there.

I’m drinkin’ cold mate: cream & honey.
I am so nourished (Thank You bacon),
Body working hard,
Learnin’ the satisfaction of a rigorous days work in the earth (worship).
I rake the land with my hands.
I feel real (grounded).
There is dirt under my fingernails.
It is worked into the creases of my skin.
Tasks are beautiful in their simplicity (a moving meditation):
Hand-weeding, stirrup-hoeing, laying hay (all rhythmic routine).
No need for perfection, (basically) its all squiggly lines!
We make organic, squirrelly bunches – yum!
[I am inspired!]
As my body finds rhythm – it hums!
Sometimes I don’t even think!
Sustaining.
Vision: emerges (well being).
I am the tiniest ant, but also infinite!
Evident, giving (we harvest), sharing the labor to create a
Sanctuary of Spirit (TRANSPARENCE).

INTRO: Hoe Down!

So I am presently here & very calm, content, peaceful about this place. Before the farm internship came about I was a bit anxious, even though floating on the wind in such a breezy free-fall was exhilarating! But I let all the baggage of that flow, because after working four hard farm days I know… how to use a hoe. 😉

I have found a connection to the internet, nestled here at the Somes Bar Outpost, which seems to be the only building in Somes Bar… all the locals are here. So is the yogurt… amongst other pantry necessities. There is a little boy named Casey running around in here right now and his mom keeps calling our name!!

I have been doing nothing but work (weed) work (mulch) work (hoe) intermingled with stints of nap (sleep) eat (harvest) eat (munchie on the grind-age) nap (sleep). There\’s dirt under my nails. And caked on my skin. This morning I took a dip on the skinny in the Salmon River. I can\’t say enough about it – the Salmon is a truly cleansing, clarifying experience. Wilson creek provides the farm with water. It is an icy treat to bathe in – most refreshing! We never get that squeaky clean of the city folk. There is always just a bit of rustic in the crease of my skin keeping me grounded – to remind me of my worship. There is free reign to harvest the food that I one needs. The orchard is especially delightful. Everyone takes note as the peach tree comes around.

When we work the fields, whatever task it is, we do it all together, jumping around one another (each at our individual pace & rhythm) teeming, a hive of energy until the task is complete. And then there is just another one.

The moon just turned from wax to wane and it has risen up full and bright orange (smoke) late in the evening. Our anticipation builds as it climbs the ridge to reach us! We have hula hoops and cougars in this canyon!

The farm is a welcome relief from having nowhere to be. This is safe, satisfying & simple – a labor of love. This is my cleansing. This is my meditation. I plant myself here with patience & stamina to unfold onto my path. I cultivate self knowing on my own terms & all my relations flow from that spring of well being. I find myself dwelling in my heart & manifesting magic in my life experiences. And I leave what is to come: possible. As I surrender, my potential is unlocked. I invite opportunity, find sacred space (conscious conversations with our selves), create a God gateway.

I learn the gifts of ritual & ceremony (I must elaborate on this later). And begin to define & practice these rites for myself – in my personal god language – which strengthens the unique quality of my energy/vibration/passion/gateway: an individual’s expression of the whole: all one: freedom. When we look one another in the eyes; when our energies overlap to create greater clarity: we are mirroring ourselves/our-hearts in one another.

We know that all is,
ONE LOVE!
And so it is.

8/19/21: Continuing on with my memory of this excellent story of my life…

I returned to the Arcata farmers market and inquired to see if anyone was looking for a hand. I was lucky to meet Von and Claudia and be accepted as an intern on their farm in Orleans. They picked me up at the Finnish Hot Tubs and Sauna and drove me three hours inland.

There I was given my own tent with a mattress- a welcome luxury. There were a handful of other interns who shared a three walled outdoor kitchen by the chicken coop. We worked a lot of hours, ate a lot of food and slept as often as we could- including the afternoon nap! Every day we alternated who would cook lunch. I remember Claudia serving us whole boiled and skinned beets and whole skinned cucumbers. I remember them being delicious and gobbling them down!

When you walked into the farmhouse there were bundled of lavender covering the ceiling and a huge picture window overlooking the rows of crops.

There was a barn where garlic and onions had been pulled and were laid out to dry. We bundled them and hung them and filled flat rate priority mail boxes to send home to our family.

There was a small stream that ran down the hill from the kitchen with ice cold water.

We spend hours doing singular tasks in the fields. The upper field between the kitchen and the main house had peppermint and chamomile and all the herbs you could imagine. There were several rows of tomatoes that we would train onto their supports and savor tasting as we harvested. Down below half of the field was filled with rosemary. I remember having to fill about a dozen boxes with bundles of rosemary sprigs. We probably spent 8 hours just cutting rosemary that day and all had our sheers and fingers covered in resin by days end. I remember sneaking off to the edge of the field to pick some blackberries when the day was running long. When the figs came in we climbed ladders and learned to eat the ones that were too ripe to travel well.

Friday was harvest day and we would fill boxes of basil, rosemary and whatever else was ready. In the wee morning hours, Von and Claudia would pack up the truck and drive it three hours down to Arcata to sell at the market.

PREFACE: Transient Time Traveler

JUMP ..and the net will appear (Buddha).

Accept not-knowing. Embrace mystery. Indulge the invisible!
Shedding layers (I carry all the identity I can… on my back… in a pack)
Slowing. Simplifying (Liberated. Uncommitted.).
My concentration focused in each moment (pace).
Step at a time.
Find food (walk) find camp (walk).
My mind sometimes remembers to freak out (WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?!).
Safety always!
Use a public bathroom. (Don’t use the mirror!)
I return to the blankness of full presence (unravelling unconsciousness),
In this moment.

Only one grain of sand passes through the hourglass @ its narrowest point.
That is now.
There’s nothing to be done, mostly its just distraction.
Life’s gonna figure itself out, so don\’t worry,
Better just to be here now.
(I surrender to possibility.)
Back on the beach – run!
I remain in the presence of this one, divine, ever-expanding instance.
Seconds,
Where the patterns (cycles) of time,
Carry me.

So, I have dropped out of my role as a functioning member of society – just momentarily – to catch my breath and take a look around. I decided not to fly home to Baltimore where a cozy, loving home waits, with a nice, well-paid super supportive job setting on the side. Instead, I choose to train as a tri-athlete: couch-hopping, lawn-surfing & beach-bagging. There is a freedom here, one that I welcomed in choosing this new path. Wearing my life on my back, I face down my fears, and theirs. Some see. That is an exciting spark. That spark in me has begun to grow. I see that when I greet someone with greater enthusiasm, they mirror it back at me, and we are both expanded. It gives me the courage for the next endeavor.

I have decided that I want to remain nowhere, or now here. I have shed many layers of identification with all the distractions in life and a greater understanding of my own being. In retrospect, I see how stressed out I made myself in my east coast mentality: I wasn’t eating! This shift has catalyzed that realization. I feel cleansed, and tired, but more fully involved in each moment. It takes a lot of work just for the bare necessities, but the satisfaction is well earned at the close of each day. I’m getting down and dirty. I walk everywhere. I sleep on the beach if at all possible. And I am grateful (GRATITUDE BURSTING) with the arrival of each morning! I feel more and more grounded. I FEEL more and more!

I’ve never enjoyed the ocean so much as I do right now – never been as totally liberated & freed by its ever-changing current. Never before been healed so fully in a single moment. This is a step in/to Divinity. When I walked out the door PRACTICING CONSCIOUSNESS for a simple vacation into this new ‘scape, I never expected that I was so ripe to follow the tides and go – let my toes lift off from the earth (although they do still tip toe along the way) but I’m lifted! Base Case. Basic, simple– rustic! I’m resounding! I’m where I want to be and all I could ask for is available to me, is healed, is here, even in this moment where uncertainty abound – a great mystery (rather than a fearful thought). I’m on my own; learning through the unknown!

Any who, this rant will have to be cont’d at a later date – it is time for me to be moving along!
Listen to your personal omens,
ONE LOVE
blessed be
case

8/19/21: I wanted to write an updated passage here to expand on the memories I have from this really special time in my life. This was the beginning of many adventures for me as a young person out in the world on my own. I took a vacation from working at a natural pharmacy at home in Maryland. I was travelling to visit a good friend from high school who was living at Chagdud Gonpa Rigdzin Ling in Junction City, California. He worked in their little retail store and we cooked out of a communal kitchen. His girlfriend rented a house up the road and worked for the parks department. His sister lived at the gonpa too. Everyone had their own little bungalow on the land. Some were yurts, some camps and some rooms in the main house. I had my own camp site on the hill and set up my hammock there. We were both into astrology and I was leant the book, Making the Gods Work for You, by Caroline Casey. We went to a fair in the nearby town of Weaverville where my buddy and his band played music.

It was a blissful little trip, until the fires came dangerously close. We got an evacuation order and packed up to leave. On the drive down, there was no A/C in the car and the smoke was claustrophobic. When we got to the coast, the wet, salty air was a relief.

Three of us camped out in the backyard of my friend’s friend in the Sunny brae neighborhood. We met their friendly local raccoon as he visited the compost pile. We walked up into the redwood forest at night and played guitar and tambourine as we went. We put a wig on the McKinley statue in the square (which was quite a climb, especially when you are inebriated.) We visited the farmer’s market and Eureka Natural Foods. We found a yellow chalk banana while exploring thrift and book stores in Old Town Eureka. This is how I became acquainted with Humboldt County, California.

When evacuation orders lifted, my gonpa friends returned inland. My vacation was supposed to be ending, but I was inspired to keep traveling with just a backpack. I called to quit my job, extended my stay in the Sunny brae backyard for a bit, and then hiked the area- into the forest and down to the beach at Manila.