Roots of Addiction

This article from Medical Medium is surprising but makes sense:

…there are two different deep roots behind addictions: adrenaline surge dependency and glucose deficiency. Other factors can certainly play a part too, including life stressors, immense pressure, and abuse. Nonetheless, adrenaline dependency and glucose deficiency – or a combination of the two – are nearly always involved. This is unknown to medical research and science. From these root issues stem countless possible addictions, including to alcohol, drugs, sex, food, diet soda, extreme sports, and more.

This fits with what I’m learning about prometabolic eating to regulate blood sugar and decrease the excitability of the nervous system. Your physiology affects your psychology, including addictive behaviors.

I have been living beyond my means! For years I have starved myself, drank coffee and powered through life. Now I am changing course and changing my state- from surviving to thriving!

In the morning, I check in with my body and see how it feels. Then I eat an efficient fuel that sounds good based on my hunger level (more or less dense foods.) Twenty minutes post meal, I check in with myself to see how I feel: still hungry, tired, energized, full?

This practice sets the trend for the day: awareness.

What you eat deeply affects the way you feel and how well you can function. Each person is unique in their needs, what satiates them and for how long.

The results so far are a stark contrast to what I’m used to. I feel more grounded, calm and safe in my body. I’m less anxious and stressed. It’s unbelievable to me that I can feel this good just by eating and actually noticing how my body responds and what it needs. I am creating a new rhythm for a return to vitality and resilience!

To learn more about the Restoration Thyroid Nutrition program I am using, visit or check out @realfoodgangstas on IG.

Taliesin West Tour

I am at the home and school of architect Frank Lloyd Wright here in Scottsdale, Arizona. I meant to visit for a very long time. Upon learning that Dale Chiuly is exhibiting, I know this is the time to go. After six months on display, I made it on the final week of Chiuly and live tours.

Our guide sheds light on life at Taliesin West: FLW bought the over 100 acres of desert property in the middle of nowhere. (Today it sits conveniently off of highway 101 in northeast Scottsdale.) They sourced local rock out of the mountain to build. When they found petroglyphs, it encouraged them knowing that OTHER people survived here too!

Rock and cement make up the walls of all the structures. In the early days, the buildings are covered in canvas, secured with a redwood frame. Over time, different woods and eventually metal is incorporated in the structures. Open windows and organic shapes allow air to flow through (and also critters.) Eventually glass windows, electricity and even air conditioning were brought in.

When power lines went up across the landscape, it upset FLW so much that he declared he would NEVER look THAT way again, instead turning his attention back towards his land and the mountains behind. He added walls to the living room and built his wife a whole new tea garden.

Apprentices build their own structure on the back part of the land. There are three people who still live there today in lifelong fellowship!

Taliesin is beautifully unassuming; it melds into the mountains all around it. I am impressed by the accomplishments of all who made the place what it is and contributed to it’s legacy.

Check out my photos and see if there’s a FLW structure in your area to visit!

The day after my tour, Frank Lloyd Wright is still showing up in surprising ways. In the morning on TV, there is mention of a FLW house in Charleston.

I go to an appointment at noon. My client’s house is in the same area of Taliesin and she has six wind chimes that perfectly match the ones in the gift shop. When I go inside, she tells me that her property backs up to FLW property!

Windchime Synchrony
Chimes at Taliesin West

On my way to the deli after, I see a guy walking down the street looking and dressing like the tour guide- hat, glasses, facial hair, colorful shirt, shorts, kicks, water bottle. It wasn’t perfect- no yellow Converse- but evoked his image. Can’t wait to go back for another visit!

Mantis Party

I came across a couple mantids yesterday while I was watering and weeding out back. Yay! Check this one out.

Mantis on lavender

As I take out the trash today, I decide to water the decomposed granite. It has needed to be done for awhile so that it compacts into a hard pan. (I need less sandy beach vibes when I’m pulling trash cans across it.) For some reason, I choose today.

As I turn the corner of the house with the hose, I see something jump from my spray. I stop the water. A tiny green mantis lunges forward to the damp ground. I can see they are desperately drinking! The mantis had been hanging from a pipe that runs on the southwest wall of the house. It is over 110 degrees today. Poor thing is baking there with no foliage for cover!

My normal MO is to get a stick or container for bug relocations, but for some reason, in this moment I decide to be brave. After all, it wasn’t that long ago that I released these mantids in the yard and couldn’t even feel them on my finger!

I spray water on my hand and offer it to the mantis, who climbs on board, licking my hand as they go. I take them over to the Jasmine vine, where I have seen other mantids in the past.

I try, unsuccessfully, to dismount the mantis onto a marigold. They insist on sticking around to lick me and climb up my arm to avoid being escorted away.

I wiggle and giggle nervously, thrilled- really! that you like me- honored even! …but I’ve got to go… wash my hair. I hold up my other hand as a stop sign in front of my new friend. I pull a Jasmine vine over and gently scoop the mantis onto a leaf.

Mission complete.

Have a nice day little one!

No photos of todays mantis.

My hands were full!

Two mantids in the lavender

New Moon Circle

It’s the start of something great! For our new moon circle we set intentions for new projects that are getting underway. Going around the circle and sharing, I tear up over my health challenges because I feel backed up to the wall with seemingly no options left, but I found hope again.

The ladies want to quantum leverage that optimism and so, I visualize my best outcome and describe it to the circle. They listen and then one by one share with me their vision of my vibrant health.

You have a bigger smile than I’ve ever seen on you! You’re walking backwards on a trail in front of me and you’re laughing.. You are driving up to the mountains and launching a paddle board on a lake.. At the end of the day you cook a big dinner over a campfire.

I am so grateful for each of their visions of me. Now I take action on my plan!

Moon Magic

Sometimes you need a ride

It’s been a day!

In the morning I return calls and emails. A trip to the dental school gets added mid-morning; it takes an hour. I come home, make a smoothie, clean the house, make a gallon of tea and put wood in the fire pit. Then I go out for a doctor appointment, a client appointment and a couple errands.

I get to my first stop, step out of the car and instantly realize I am wearing fuzzy sandals NOT dress shoes! Oh Lord. Here we go.. one errand complete. Do I have time for shoe shopping? Well, no. I’m off to the doctor on schedule and with my cool.

At the store, I grab a cart and go to pickup a couple cases of coconut water. When I get to the aisle and lean down to grab a case, I realize there is no grate on the bottom of my cart. I stand there looking around at ALL the other shoppers who got carts equipped with a grate. Great. I load two cases into the cart and keep on trucking.

At my client’s house, I own the slipper slip up and we all have a good laugh about it. I get home with enough time for a breather before all my favorite ladies show up for snacks and magic in the back yard!

We are all around the fire pit. All in! We meditate and share what we are releasing at this full moon before burning our written words in the fire. As the papers begin to burn… someone starts hollering and demanding we put out the fire!

There’s a magnetism to the world we live in that balances polarizing energies. The universe just flexed on us in our happy place. We all sit there, stunned but smiling.

A couple minutes later, the voice starts again, “There’s smoke in my house! It’s 100 degrees, why do you even need a fire? I’m going to call the fire department!”

Everyone is looking at me because it is my house, but I avoid getting involved and instead sit silently. Eventually, one of us says, “It will be out in a little bit. Have a good night!” We continue, but are then distracted by the sound of running water…

We look across the fire at each other and up at the wall, laughing nervously and wondering if we are about to be hosed down by an unofficial fire department!

Another stint of verbal battery comes over the wall. Someone suggests she close her door and windows. She retorts that it is coming through her A/C intake. She wants to breathe air, not smoke! Then moments later the grande finale, “The fire department has been called! Have a good night!”

We close our circle by sharing what we’re leaving behind and what we’re taking with us before saying, “I’m out!” I hose down the fire myself and try to send loving and compassionate thoughts over the wall as I do. I’m not angry, just disappointed that the hot firemen were a no show.

My spirit animal for May

This day is a microcosm of the last month leading up to the lunar eclipse. Many challenges: a root canal, a hang over, a sun burn. I’ve been to the dental school 7 out of 17 days in May and at least as many in April. It’s been exhausting but I meet each adversity with calm and acceptance. I am gaining confidence that no one can disturb my peace- not even myself!

I’m strong, but I am also kind to myself. What is the choice that is best for my well being? By taking care of myself, I have more love to give the world and less reactive energy pent up. I can stay calm when my buttons are pushed or when the symptoms of anxiety I know so well randomly stop by for a visit.

This is me making it!

Everyone has gone to bed, but my cortisol levels are amped. One sound and I wake to my own personal hell, for which I alone am responsible. There’s a big bag of anxiety that I’ve packed away for myself and it just got loose when I was no longer distracted by doing things.

Hello anxiety my old friend, you’ve come to talk with me again. You found me alone here in the dark. You have my full attention.

It starts with a runny nose and teary eyes, then nausea, shortness of breath, sharp cramps, hot flashes, heart palpitations and ends with me lying by the toilet hanging onto each moment as I ride the ups and downs of this human experience. I feel out of control and like life itself is being squeezed out of me.

I have ridden this ride several times a year since 2020. Now, I work to carefully deactivate the triggers by calling them out and leaving them powerless over me. “I know what this is!” I silently shout to my anxiety. “I am safe. I am protected.” I breathe. I surrender to the moment. Fear does not control me when I claim my sovereignty. Slowly, the waves receed, discomfort subsides and I am able to fall asleep.

Each challenge transforms into an opportunity if you have a key. It’s something to work on. It’s coming up for me. It’s uncomfortable but true! I’m listening to the message. I’m not reacting but I am responding in new ways that serve my highest good!

Sometimes you need a ride

Mantis Sighting

Marigold Magic

Just as I begin to worry that all of the mantes we released have perished, I run into one. Today I encountered a mantis who escaped the path of my crab grass weeding and hopped onto a nearby marigold.

He quickly flipped upside down and settled in on the under side of a leaf. I’m sure I’ll see him there again soon. He is about an inch long now, three times bigger than when it hatched. The color is a kind of translucent olive green.

Close up mantis on marigold

I love marigolds because of how readily they reseed. They flower again and again, providing endless splashes of orange ruffled blooms.

The neighbor kids have picked up on my practice of deadheading, which is to remove the spent flowers that have dried up into seed pods. Now the plant will put it’s energy toward flowering again.

I sprinkle my saved seed in the very back, against the hot block wall, where the crab grass is creeping. With time and disregard, a secret little marigold garden has bloomed behind the giant agave and red yucca. What a gift!

Secret Marigold Garden